Self Sabotage

I love the holidays. I love the decorating, the parties, the lights. But the holidays are time bombs lying in wait for the dieter. For the average person, parties are the pathway to adding a couple of extra pounds. If you aren't dieting, it may be no big deal. Put on 5 pounds in December. Cut back in January and take them off again.
But for someone trying to lose weight, it seems like a no-win situation. Who wants to eat celery sticks, when there is baklava on the buffet? I mean, when else are you going to eat baklava? It's not like you get it every day, so what's the big deal about eating one piece? The rationalization continues...it's better to eat just one piece when you are out than making a red velvet cake at home.
But even for the committed dieter it is so easy to lose focus. Last night I went out with friends to a local restaurant. It was our Bunco group's Christmas Party. I started out pretty well, I thought. I skipped the appetizer, and my entree was a chicken breast on a bed of spinach with a creamy garlic dressing. Since I'm on a low carb, high protein diet, I wasn't worried about the salt, fat, calories. When my meal came, there were 3 nice sized chicken breast filets. I ate one, and brought two home. So far so good. And then it happened. I sabotaged my own good efforts and I didn't even realize it until this morning!
I ordered a gin and tonic to start with. 1 drink wouldn't have hurt too much. I'm used to having one at home. Except I forgot, I always use diet tonic! The restaurant uses the real thing...sugar and all. We were having a lot of fun, the evening was going on, gifts were being opened....I ordered a second one. Never gave the diet a thought. But the worst offense came at the end of dinner. I had noticed the Tiramasu on the menu at the beginning of the evening. When it was time for dessert, I went right ahead and boldly ordered one. (I want to state here, the problem wasn't the alcohol. It was the party mood. We were all relaxed and having a really nice time. I stopped thinking about what my choices were doing to my intentions. I just relaxed and had fun.)
What really irritates me is that I never even THOUGHT about what I was doing until I got up this morning. I recounted what I ate and started to pat myself on the back for skipping the appetizer, and ordering a low-carb entree. Then I remembered the dessert. Was it worth it? Sure, it tasted great. And the drinks...I never remember the bartender uses regular tonic. I'm so used to thinking of it as my 'free drink' because I use diet tonic.
This was the week I wanted to lose 2 pounds. I was doing really well, but I blew it last night. I usually have a trick up my sleeve that helps me walk away from 'forbidden foods'. I remind myself that it isn't the last time I will ever have a chance to eat (strawberry shortcake, brownies, mashed potatoes....) I don't 'forbid' myself the food. I just put it off until a better time. It works well for me.
But parties are different. You relax, have fun. There is nothing intentional about it. The mood silently sabotages your intent. You go to a party with goals in mind, and then the time bomb goes off somewhere around that second lemon tart or brownie bite. You lose your focus. You chat with friends, laugh at a funny story and reach for another one.
I have a month to go and I want to be down 5 more pounds by Christmas. I hope by recognizing today, how parties can easily sabotage good intentions I will be better prepared for the next few weeks. I now realize dieting takes full time concentration. There are no down moments. I can laugh and have fun at the next party, but I can't lose my focus. I'm pleased with my progress, but I'm not there yet. I want to be proud of myself in 3 weeks, not looking back and second guessing all my missteps.